Author Topic: What do I want to be when I grow up?  (Read 188 times)

steveoh

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2363
    • Airgun FPE Calculator
What do I want to be when I grow up?
« on: July 17, 2020, 07:54:40 AM »
What do I want to be when I grow up?

It’s been an interesting year. Got laid off last June when the private equity firm that bought my software company, starved us of marketing and sales, left us dangling in the wind, and finally closed our office and fired all engineers.

Their goal was to reduce overhead, send our jobs to the Ukraine and suck in the recurring $10 million plus yearly income from our two applications. Sucked to be us.

I’ve struggled to find a landing place no doubt due to a combination of lacking current skills the recent college grads have, an essential elimination of my specific specialized job skills, and the fact that I am 62 and competing with 20 something year olds.

I keep looking for work and survive on my savings, wife’s income and the piddly unemployment insurance I’ve contributed to for 30+ years here in California.

I am picking up small software projects, working at an early stage startup for free or equity, took on a photography job on Monday (previous occupation), and yesterday took on a day long wrenching gig to get a friend of a friend’s two outboard engines up and running and maintenance after sitting for three years. Also fixed an ATV that was not charging (new rectifier / regulator). 

It’s actually been a good week doing other things for a change, and supplementing the  rather depressing bank account.

Fellow I helped out yesterday Has a Gamo  repeating springer he liked, and was curious about my airgun collection. He’d asked if I’d bring one or more to check out. So I brought the Texan since it’s so different than anything he’s seen.

This fellow hunts Turkey and pigs at a permission he has, I think in the Turlock area. I showed him the Texan and my big SCBA tank, and talked about it and airguns in general. I could see the gears turning. Later that evening he asked about getting together and shooting airguns. Hooked!

Anyway, I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.



  • Benicia, California
Quackenbush .58 Outlaw
Shooting Chairs
Vallejo Ferry Schedule
DAQ .458 LA Outlaw Rifle
Sam Yang 909s .45
Sam Yang Sumatra .25
RWS Diana 350Magnum Compact Pro .22
QB-79 .177
Crosman 1322
Crosman 1377 - HoRodded 10 FPE
Diana Model 27 (childhood airgun)
Tolman Skiff
Airgun Calculator

Alan

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3229
  • Set the example... Don't be one!
    • Mobile Amateur Radio
Re: What do I want to be when I grow up?
« Reply #1 on: July 17, 2020, 08:52:41 AM »
You forgot about this covid mess as a reason, but you're forgiven. I might add, that you're a bit old to take up being a gigolo, unless you moved back to Florida, and hook up with a rich widow from New York!
  • Roswell, New Mexico
Alan

I have an Omega compressor. If you're a fellow Guild member, and you pass through Roswell, NM, I'll fill your portable tank as a courtesy.

Capt45

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 165
  • Weihrauch HW30;Crosman Nitro Venom 22;Crosman 1377
Re: What do I want to be when I grow up?
« Reply #2 on: July 17, 2020, 09:56:48 AM »
Hang in there Steveoh, unless the CV19 thing jumps bad again things should turn around.  As you know, I think the CV19 thing is being pushed by political forces and after the election (regardless who wins) it'll be in the wind (pun).  With your varied skill set you WILL land in a good spot. Remember what they say at the Possom Lodge "Keep your stick on the ice"; We're all in this together.
  • Sedan
Weihrauch HW30 .177
Crosman Nitro Venom .22
Crosman Am. Classic 1377

steveoh

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2363
    • Airgun FPE Calculator
Re: What do I want to be when I grow up?
« Reply #3 on: July 17, 2020, 10:38:10 AM »
Hang in there Steveoh, unless the CV19 thing jumps bad again things should turn around.  As you know, I think the CV19 thing is being pushed by political forces and after the election (regardless who wins) it'll be in the wind (pun).  With your varied skill set you WILL land in a good spot. Remember what they say at the Possom Lodge "Keep your stick on the ice"; We're all in this together.

Unfortunately Covid19 has already jumped bad. I'm predicting a full year at the very earliest that things settle down. We pretty much screwed the pooch trying to get the economy back up and running ever so slightly prematurely.

Thanks for the kind words. I just keep moving forward, one foot at a time.
  • Benicia, California
Quackenbush .58 Outlaw
Shooting Chairs
Vallejo Ferry Schedule
DAQ .458 LA Outlaw Rifle
Sam Yang 909s .45
Sam Yang Sumatra .25
RWS Diana 350Magnum Compact Pro .22
QB-79 .177
Crosman 1322
Crosman 1377 - HoRodded 10 FPE
Diana Model 27 (childhood airgun)
Tolman Skiff
Airgun Calculator

Capt45

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 165
  • Weihrauch HW30;Crosman Nitro Venom 22;Crosman 1377
Re: What do I want to be when I grow up?
« Reply #4 on: July 17, 2020, 11:38:33 AM »
Then you'll probably not enjoy this:

/>
Sorry, it's more how I feel about the situation.  CV 19 is more a political issue other than a health issue IMO.
  • Sedan
Weihrauch HW30 .177
Crosman Nitro Venom .22
Crosman Am. Classic 1377

Alan

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3229
  • Set the example... Don't be one!
    • Mobile Amateur Radio
Re: What do I want to be when I grow up?
« Reply #5 on: July 17, 2020, 01:34:11 PM »
Latest word on the vaccine is more than "just" promising. Apparently, it is working in close-in testing, and from what I read, full testing starts Monday.
  • Roswell, New Mexico
Alan

I have an Omega compressor. If you're a fellow Guild member, and you pass through Roswell, NM, I'll fill your portable tank as a courtesy.

Steelhead

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 678
    • Born Wild Shooting Chairs
Re: What do I want to be when I grow up?
« Reply #6 on: July 18, 2020, 05:02:32 AM »
If there's anything in the world that's guaranteed, it's that God, fate, or whatever will absolutely change your best laid plans.

Your post struck a philosophical nerve with me as there is a certain expectation of the 'script' that we (men especially) follow through the course of our professional lives. I come from a family of very hard workers from my grandparents to my parents. Grandpa was a hay truck driver and a production worker at the local creamery. He changed careers at 40 and started on the ground level at a union job so he could provide for us until retirement. He slung 50 lb. boxes of butter every day for 25 years and retired on his 65th birthday. My pops was a grocer and caterer until his late 30's and then he sold the store and started new as an insurance agent. He parlayed that into opening his own business which he just sold two years ago.

As for me, since high school I've had numerous jobs. My daughter was born when I was 19 and my son when I was 20 so I worked doing whatever I could to support my family. That included a gas station attendant, a well mechanic (helper), warehouse/stock boy, hardware store clerk, sport fisher deckhand, manure truck driver, and tile apprentice...probably a couple of others I can't remember. What I DID do was always work.

There was a stigma placed by others as to what I 'should' be doing or what I 'should' be earning. I did not follow that script for a variety of reasons including (but not limited to) being young, somewhat immature, short attention span, and the need to provide immediately. I've been in the tile business full time for about 22 years (although I had years off and on during my 20's that I did it too) and a business owner for around 15. The first recession hit me hard and I took a job as a project manager for a large tile company that guaranteed me a weekly salary. After 3 years of that stressful venture I went back to doing my own thing and haven't looked back. I can do what I want for business and pleasure, don't have to hit a time clock, don't have to listen to a slave-driving boss, and I get to enjoy the fruits of my labor.

I STILL have inferiority issues when thinking about my career choices. My younger six brothers and sisters are all pretty successful for the most part: dairy farmer, teacher, accountant, contractor, bookkeeper, and carpenter. There were more times that I can count when it was either said or implied 'Why can't you be more like (insert name here)?' It hurt my feelings that I wasn't considered smart enough or good enough to 'succeed' and be the professional that others thought that I should be.

Fast forward to 2020. I'm doing ok considering the troubled times. My business is stable, my bills are paid, and I have food on the table. I have slowly gravitated away the feelings of 'failure' because I don't own a home (600K gets you a 75 year old 3 bed/1bath fixer-upper here in a flood zone...unbelievable, but true) and/or am not 'set' for retirement.

I find that I gauge myself against others as a way to rate my 'worth'. That's what I was taught. It's taken me a long time to shift away from that mindset. I've slowly learned to be satisfied with what I have, what I've done, and mostly WHO I am. The 'stuff' in life (homes. professional titles, cars, boats, vacation homes, and even airguns) is just window dressing. Being a productive part of your environment and family, a willing and able helper to those who need it, and being flexible in HOW you can be productive are all very admirable traits. In slow times in the last 10 years I have chopped thistles by hand (organic farm, can't spray) for $10/hr., drove a manure truck on weekends, and even trimmed weed for a pot farm on occasion (don't be shocked...it's Northern California) to help make ends meet.

I know this is long winded, but it's important to me. There's always a certain stigma attached to what we're doing and when, especially here in the ultra-affluent Bay Area/wine country where we (Steveoh and I) live. I have learned to be very respectful of people who are not 'takers', but 'earners' and 'givers'. I admire everyone who works and is a contributor vs. a mooch and a drain on resources. Good on you for being diligent and flexible enough to use your many skills to diversify. I've seen you giggle when you destroy my stainless steel targets with your .50 cal airguns...you're still a kid at heart. Fate will continue to modify your best laid plans, just keep your shit together so that you're ready when the opportunity knocks. And it will.
« Last Edit: July 18, 2020, 06:52:23 AM by Steelhead »
  • Petaluma, CA
Airforce Texan .308

Benjamin Discovery .22
Benjamin Prowler .177
FX Streamline .25
Born Wild Shooting Chair
Air Venturi compressor

Capt45

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 165
  • Weihrauch HW30;Crosman Nitro Venom 22;Crosman 1377
Re: What do I want to be when I grow up?
« Reply #7 on: July 18, 2020, 06:08:30 AM »
Well said Steelhead.  It's very hard to quantify personal feelings or ethos of character.  I'd say you've done very well for yourself and family, and after all, that's a primary ingredient to a life well spent IMO.
  • Sedan
Weihrauch HW30 .177
Crosman Nitro Venom .22
Crosman Am. Classic 1377

Alan

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3229
  • Set the example... Don't be one!
    • Mobile Amateur Radio
Re: What do I want to be when I grow up?
« Reply #8 on: July 18, 2020, 10:54:48 AM »
I've never been sorry for my career choices. Yes, I've thought about what other things I could have done, and the two times I turned down a rather lucrative career change, only to be reawakened by the reality of having a family. But none of it matters now, as I am eighty years of age.

Of late, two more things have changed my outlook, and snapped me back to reality. They were the passing of my wife a little more than a year ago, and a mini-stroke I had about two months ago. The new reality is just exactly as Kevin stated in his first sentence. As a result, I do what makes me happy, and luckily I can afford to do so as a result of the career paths I took. Another reason not to be regretful of my life's choices. 
  • Roswell, New Mexico
Alan

I have an Omega compressor. If you're a fellow Guild member, and you pass through Roswell, NM, I'll fill your portable tank as a courtesy.

steveoh

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2363
    • Airgun FPE Calculator
Re: What do I want to be when I grow up?
« Reply #9 on: July 18, 2020, 04:17:09 PM »
Kevin, This a pretty amazing response.

I have nothing but respect for the work you do. I’ve seen the quality and that speaks volumes of your skill, artistic abilities and your get it done and do it well sensibilities.

We all have to find a happy place. You are working, going fishing and hunting, ie doing the stuff you love. Good for you!

I started out in photography first in high school, then in retail, then as a City Employee and freelancer, and as a teacher. I got sick of staged political bs and the guy who was my boss was dangerous and an ass to female workers. I had enough and went back to school to get my credentials to teach at university. I’d already done that as an adjunct, but that was only a few classes and I had to work two other jobs.

Was a mural printer and mounter, gallery preparator for a few years, and filled in the gaps teaching.

Got out of grad school and got a full time gig teaching offer. Then they told me the pay. I cried on the ride home, as I’d made a higher salary years before. I knew I couldn’t afford California at that wage, so I turned them down and decided to reinvent myself.

Taught myself html And CSS and found work in the software industry. That’s were I’ve been since before 2000.

So, time to reinvent myself once again. Part of this time off is to chew on that. And so I chew. I do miss the fat Software  salary though.

 
If there's anything in the world that's guaranteed, it's that God, fate, or whatever will absolutely change your best laid plans.

Your post struck a philosophical nerve with me as there is a certain expectation of the 'script' that we (men especially) follow through the course of our professional lives. I come from a family of very hard workers from my grandparents to my parents. Grandpa was a hay truck driver and a production worker at the local creamery. He changed careers at 40 and started on the ground level at a union job so he could provide for us until retirement. He slung 50 lb. boxes of butter every day for 25 years and retired on his 65th birthday. My pops was a grocer and caterer until his late 30's and then he sold the store and started new as an insurance agent. He parlayed that into opening his own business which he just sold two years ago.

As for me, since high school I've had numerous jobs. My daughter was born when I was 19 and my son when I was 20 so I worked doing whatever I could to support my family. That included a gas station attendant, a well mechanic (helper), warehouse/stock boy, hardware store clerk, sport fisher deckhand, manure truck driver, and tile apprentice...probably a couple of others I can't remember. What I DID do was always work.

There was a stigma placed by others as to what I 'should' be doing or what I 'should' be earning. I did not follow that script for a variety of reasons including (but not limited to) being young, somewhat immature, short attention span, and the need to provide immediately. I've been in the tile business full time for about 22 years (although I had years off and on during my 20's that I did it too) and a business owner for around 15. The first recession hit me hard and I took a job as a project manager for a large tile company that guaranteed me a weekly salary. After 3 years of that stressful venture I went back to doing my own thing and haven't looked back. I can do what I want for business and pleasure, don't have to hit a time clock, don't have to listen to a slave-driving boss, and I get to enjoy the fruits of my labor.

I STILL have inferiority issues when thinking about my career choices. My younger six brothers and sisters are all pretty successful for the most part: dairy farmer, teacher, accountant, contractor, bookkeeper, and carpenter. There were more times that I can count when it was either said or implied 'Why can't you be more like (insert name here)?' It hurt my feelings that I wasn't considered smart enough or good enough to 'succeed' and be the professional that others thought that I should be.

Fast forward to 2020. I'm doing ok considering the troubled times. My business is stable, my bills are paid, and I have food on the table. I have slowly gravitated away the feelings of 'failure' because I don't own a home (600K gets you a 75 year old 3 bed/1bath fixer-upper here in a flood zone...unbelievable, but true) and/or am not 'set' for retirement.

I find that I gauge myself against others as a way to rate my 'worth'. That's what I was taught. It's taken me a long time to shift away from that mindset. I've slowly learned to be satisfied with what I have, what I've done, and mostly WHO I am. The 'stuff' in life (homes. professional titles, cars, boats, vacation homes, and even airguns) is just window dressing. Being a productive part of your environment and family, a willing and able helper to those who need it, and being flexible in HOW you can be productive are all very admirable traits. In slow times in the last 10 years I have chopped thistles by hand (organic farm, can't spray) for $10/hr., drove a manure truck on weekends, and even trimmed weed for a pot farm on occasion (don't be shocked...it's Northern California) to help make ends meet.

I know this is long winded, but it's important to me. There's always a certain stigma attached to what we're doing and when, especially here in the ultra-affluent Bay Area/wine country where we (Steveoh and I) live. I have learned to be very respectful of people who are not 'takers', but 'earners' and 'givers'. I admire everyone who works and is a contributor vs. a mooch and a drain on resources. Good on you for being diligent and flexible enough to use your many skills to diversify. I've seen you giggle when you destroy my stainless steel targets with your .50 cal airguns...you're still a kid at heart. Fate will continue to modify your best laid plans, just keep your shit together so that you're ready when the opportunity knocks. And it will.
  • Benicia, California
Quackenbush .58 Outlaw
Shooting Chairs
Vallejo Ferry Schedule
DAQ .458 LA Outlaw Rifle
Sam Yang 909s .45
Sam Yang Sumatra .25
RWS Diana 350Magnum Compact Pro .22
QB-79 .177
Crosman 1322
Crosman 1377 - HoRodded 10 FPE
Diana Model 27 (childhood airgun)
Tolman Skiff
Airgun Calculator